Coming into college, I was so ecstatic to join a sorority. I lost sleep over the excitement of recruitment. Going through rush week, I was terrified of saying the “wrong thing,” but in reality, there’s really no “wrong thing” to say… especially when I walked into ΑΟΠ’s room. I shortly realized that all I had to do was be myself. I laughed, I cried… I was happy. I had definitely found my home.
My first semester was amazing thanks to these sweet sisters, my parents, new found friends in other organizations, and my boyfriend at the time, Patrick. I was doing good with classes, studying hard, going to events with my sisters, all the nine yards. I was so incredibly happy with my life.
My second semester of college was not so great. It started off on a good foot, but only for a few days. On January 11, 2019 my entire world fell apart. My boyfriend, Patrick, had passed away. I can hardly even explain the emotions I had been feeling. I fell to my knees. I screamed, I cried... I really just felt numb. I couldn’t feel anything at all and I was broken.
I couldn’t call him in tears and I couldn’t run to him for guidance. I felt like I was in a daze. I am so grateful that Jessica, my sister, was there with me whenever I got the news. She comforted me until my mom had gotten there. I then opened up my phone and messaged the girls in my pledge class - PC 18. I told them that I needed to go home for a while and that Patrick gained his angel wings way too early. Next thing I knew, my mom came and picked me up, I packed a bag, and was on my way to Birmingham… home.
At the time, I had no intentions on going back to school. I felt as if I did not have any sort of strength to return to the place that made me the happiest. Patrick passed away on a Friday, the following Saturday we had a workshop. I was too upset to attend and I was heartbroken that I was not going to be there. The next day, I had found out that all of my sweet sisters said a prayer for me! In all the excitement of workshop and being together, they all were thinking of me. This news made me shed some happy tears in the midst of so much sadness. I was so overwhelmed with the love and support. I simply couldn’t thank my sisters enough for that prayer!
A few days passed and it was time for the second hardest day of my life… his funeral. I was scared, I was sick to my stomach. I never wanted to bug anyone to come, so I was very excited to receive the news that my big, Kaelyn, my gran-big, Leia, and two of my closest sisters, Tori & Hannah, were coming to be with me. I felt so blessed that they were taking time out of their day to come and support me and comfort me in my time of need. They were by my side the entire day, even when I got a tattoo in memory of Patrick. They were there for me throughout my days of grief.
After some days of rest, I returned to Jacksonville for my first chapter meeting back. I knew it was the best thing to do, and I knew Patrick would not have wanted me to put my life on hold because of his passing. All of the nerves had gone away and I was instantly greeted with so many hugs and so much love from my sisters. I still have my bad days, and coming up on 5 months since he has been gone… they are still always there. They all have been the most genuine friends to me than I could have ever imagined. They have all helped me through the darkest time of my life and have been role models to me the entire time. Leaving baskets to cheer me up, offering a shoulder to cry on, helping me catch up on school work I missed out on, and even some time to love on their pups, they always know how to make me smile. They challenge me to be the best version of myself. I am so incredibly happy to be in this sisterhood forever. I never in a million years would have thought I’d come back to Jacksonville with my head held so high, but because of them, I forever will. Without the support from my sisters, I have no idea where I would be right now, and I love every single one of them more than they will ever know.
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